Terrie
(Source: iamnevertheone, via blainesexmachine)
i kept bugging my mom about not buying me my favorite popsicles
and she kept saying “lacey i will buy them i will buy them relax”
and i came home one day and my mom was like “i bought popsicles”
so i go to the fridge and open the freezer omg
why did you do this
mom i know u can hear me
wHY
WHY TELL ME
HOW DID YOU EVEN FIND THIS MANY TO BUY AT ONE TIME OMG
I JUST NEEDED TO BRING THIS BACK
(Source: tomlinsass, via comaprison)
consulting-idjits-in-the-tardis:
sam
does your badge say that you’re special agent han solo
how the flying fuck did they even survive this long
(Source: matttcohen, via comaprison)
Do you realize how hilarious it would be to see the actors really act out horribly-characterized fanfictions, in total seriousness, line for line
(via spokanesammirose)
(Source: 30rockasaurus, via maxxpiercey)
sometimes i think i love my mom a lot
and then i remember when i caught her reading my diary on my bed in middle school and didn’t even apologize but said “i’m your mother so I’m allowed to read it” and then grounded me for using the word “fuck”
in my personal diary
she stole my personal diary and read it and then grounded me for what i wrote
(via spokanesammirose)
ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm
i know there are some writers who follow me
please
take note
I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.
So writers, take note.
jesus h. christ
I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.
Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.
Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.
A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.
So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.
This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.
Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.
ive learned a lot today omg
i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this
I reblogged this yesterday but I just have to reblogg again for ^
#huge dicks are like communism
can someone please put that on a shirt
(Source: speedwalking, via maxxpiercey)
